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Road to Self-Realization | Check-in

Ep. 2

It’s been two days. The day after my first post I was focusing on other projects.

If you have a chance, check out my podcast Are You Okay? (with Michelle & Tricia) on Anchor and Spotify. It’s with me and my sister.

I posted that. It’s our first one, so be easy. It’s a learning process in and of itself.

Are You Okay? (with Michelle & Tricia)

Get to know these two sisters, and maybe yourself, as they navigate their late 20’s and 30’s. From career confusion to relationship struggles to societal expecations.

“Are You Okay?” Find comfort with us as we find comfort in each other.

Then, I spent yesterday learning about the basics of sewing. I have patterns and I don’t know how to read them. I have fabrics and old clothes but don’t know what to do with them. It’s easy to get discouraged. Because I got a little discouraged yesterday. Remember, I’m not going to see immediate results or progress in one hour. It’s not how it works. I’m learning new things about myself when it comes to learning. Especially, how my mind works when it comes to the learning process.

I couldn’t just switch to another task after being immersed in one. But the details in the one task were a lot to navigate. I was hopping back and forth, and essentially didn’t get anything accomplished. That’s an all day affair of just working with the machine and learning the stitch. It’s all about learning and the curve is different for everyone. Yes, some people have some innate talents, but hard work and dedication really will get me to where I want to get. Not for money, but really for enjoying something.

I did block out my day yesterday. I found it very productive. Sectioning out times for exercise, showering, break times, and actually time out to focus on working on things to really make better use of my time. I lose so much time just being mindless on my phone. Things that will be there later, when I have some downtime. Youtube, TikTok, Twitter. Not all the time.

As a flight attendant, I have days where I’m working and have a routine, but the days I’m off, which can be up to 11, even up to 20 days, in a row. The days I’m off can really be hard for me to get into a routine and it really takes a lot of internal motivation for me to complete projects.

I watched a TikTok about motivation, and it really stuck with me. This girl specified the difference between internal and external motivation, and it really it me.

Internal motivation is not something I have. External motivation, all day. If someone is relying on me to get something done, it will get done. I want to be there for myself, like I am for other people. Why is it I don’t give myself that much respect? Maybe it really is about giving respect to these projects, calling them projects and naming them. Documenting and keeping track for the process. No endeavor shall be too small. Nothing too insignificant. That’s the mindset I should adopt when it comes to myself.

workspace vibes

I never saw myself as a creative, but I feel like I’ve always have this creative side inside of me that’s never been fully explored. The more I dive into the creative world. Its intimidating. People being so vulnerable and exploring themselves as people. That’s what true art is about. But artist work in a different realm. They get so lost in their work. The concentration and focus. That’s what I’m looking for.

That concentration and focus on a work that I’m passionate about.

We’re still learning. And that’s cool.

Today I’m going to be editing videos all day. I have so much footage but don’t know what to do with it. I need to sit down and review all the clips and separate out the clips to what videos I want to make. I was watching some lessons on color correcting videos because that’s hard. I’m working with Adobe Premiere Pro. And there’s so much creative freedom on there, but that makes it so intimidating. Thankfully, Adobe has a lot of free lessons. If anyone else knows where I can learn about video editing specifically on Premiere Pro, let me know.

I woke up a little late today because I was up late. Well, actually, I fell asleep really early (10 pm) and woke up at 3 am, but then I stayed up because I saw a “Best of Run BTS” Special to prep for there upcoming livestream for their performance in Busan. I couldn’t miss and very much enjoyed it. No regrets.

But, nonetheless, I did start my day. Coffee and lunch.

Working on videos and going to focus all day. That’s the plan for the rest of my day.

I’m thinking about making this a podcast, as well. Just to accompany these blog posts. Just a little more in-depth dive into my brain. I like to talk a lot. Lots of ideas. Now comes the work.

Leave some motivation. It helps me. If you need any support on any of your projects or just life, I got you. Fighting!

Let’s have a better tomorrow.

With lots of love, always, Tricia.

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